Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Drew Magary is on summer vacation with his family, because he's basically John Candy. My name is A.J. Daulerio, substitute funbaggot. Today we're offering pithy, sometimes thoughtful responses about life's rich pageantry, including ridiculous Michael Sam sack celebrations, wedding-gift etiquette, and the usual grossout fodder.